{life}

This post is in reaction to an experience I had at school yesterday. I was sitting in my class and I realized, about an hour in, that I had no idea what people were talking about. I was rather baffled at this because I had done the reading and I thought I had a pretty good handle on the class material. apparently not. I really didn't understand some of the words coming out of people's mouths and this frustrated me because I am a senior in my college career and i should be getting a pretty good grasp on things. Another frustrating moment was when my teacher had us stand up if we had read certain pieces of literature.
i didn't stand up.
I wanted to cry, because I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR for crying out loud. I should be one of the few people who has read a lot of literature. But, alas, I was not.  after class, I did what any mature adult college student would do.
i called my mom.
I called her and vented my concerns I started to cry and I felt silly. of course, the first thing out of my mother's mouth, is "Hannah, you are not stupid"
"I know, i just feel that way."
Then my mom continued to share an interesting experience with me. She talked about the idea that our true education, not necessarily scholastic, doesn't begin until we realize how much we don't know. There is so much in this world that we don't know. Some of the brightest minds have been baffled at many things in this world. I thought about what my mom said, and though it didn't make me feel better at the moment, it has since made it's impact.
I don't know anything! actually I know that I have a Heavenly Father and He loves me, but other than that and the facts that are attached to that, I don't know anything.
My mom also told me that from now on, everything I read will be different. I will learn in a different way and everything will impact me differently.
I had to come to the realization that I know nothing, before I was able to see all that I could know.
I have already seen that I am asking myself more questions, and I am digesting information differently.
So the moral of the story is as the picture above describes: Failure is the best way to learn.
I had to hit rock bottom before I could continue to progress.
Frankly I am a little peeved that i had to learn this lesson this far into my academic career, it would have been helpful to understand this idea say, three years ago, but it's better late than never right? (except in the instance of Abraham and Isaac, that angel needed to be punctual...)
I figure this will help me make the most of the rest of my education here at BYU and then help me create a beautiful life full of learning and progress.
I am thankful for a wonderful mother who is always willing to listen to my rants on the phone, and I am also grateful for a God who teaches me and helps me shape myself into the person He knows I can be. Everyday I get a little bit more enlightenment about how wonderful life is, and I LOVE it.
Life is such an adventure and I cannot wait to see what is next in my book of life.
H.