A few months ago I had a few articles published on a third party website. I worked hard on the articles, and was thrilled when they were published. (It's a big feeling to have a byline out in the world, especially as a writer.) Of course, with a published piece, comes the commentary. Most of the commentary I could handle. There were rebuttals to my thoughts, as well as compliments. I was so excited my work was touching lives. (in all reality, one of the pieces was complete satire, but still, I was reaching people.) Then came the nasty comments. I've never really been a victim of cyberbullying, so it's never really seemed real. This was different. People I'd never met, who have no idea who I am, were creating an image of me they saw as accurate.
"Sad to see another woman succumb to the lies of feminism."
"For a "20-something writer" (c'mon, could you be anymore cliche?) you have far too many grammatical and spelling mistakes for such a short piece. Also, perhaps it isn't your Christian background pushing you away from marriage, but your pretentious attitude towards even the most minuscule of things such as "people on Facebook"; that, or maybe it's your looks that aren't helping you secure a groom."
"You aren't going to "find yourself". You aren't going to have "a rewarding adventure". All you're going to do is look back on your decision and regret not having kids earlier."
"What kind of perverted embodiment of self-righteousness is the expectation that people would only post and share what YOU want to hear?"
"To be "friends" with someone who you so obviously revile, makes you dishonest. Why are you even friends with them.? Odds are that they wish you would get lost anyway. Do them a favor. Quit hanging around to be nosy and delete yourself."
"I feel sorry she feels like a third wheel around happy, loving couples. She should spend some time journaling about her attitude towards these things rather than criticize others, maybe that will help her find the joy she needs to find her love."
"And to describe yourself as a "20-something writer" and then write a rant about stereotypical annoying Facebook statuses makes you look like you couldn't think of anything interesting, intelligent, or at least something mildly funny to write about.
I get that this "article" was supposed to be light and humorous, but it just ended up making the author look like an unintelligent condescending idiot."
Do people really think this is okay? I tend to see the best in people, and have a hard time imagining someone saying these types of things to my face, but how is the computer a safeguard. Words are words. It breaks my heart to think there are individuals out there, so set on being mean. What do they gain?
Some of the comments weren't outright mean, but very assuming. The ironic thing about each of these articles is that I was, and still am, in a loving committed relationship. Most of the comments pointed to the writers assuming I was alone and bitter. Quite the opposite.
Remember computers aren't armor. When you say something online, that person still feels like they got punched in the gut, Be kind. In all communication we should seek to be uplifting, and truthful, but virtuous. If you aren't going to say something helpful, don't share.
In the grand scheme of things, the commentary I received wasn't too scathing. No one told me to kill myself. It's incredible to me, that not being told to kill myself is a good day. No one should feel that way. No one has the right to tell you to go die. It's unkind and completely strips all value from the human life before you. It's not always easy to shake it off. Words can be weapons too.
Until next time,
H.
