Rarely do I like to write about what I call “hot topics”
because in all reality what other people do with their lives isn’t any of my
business. I find that many times entering into conversations of a political or
religious nature leads to more harm than good. Feelings are hurt, and people get
defensive. Bridges have been burned, and friendships lost.
I felt the need to write about this issue, however, because
it brings together a number of issues I see in other places, and is more than politics
or religion. And while it may be a heated and highly opinionated minefield, what the
hell…
Bruce Jenner’s transformation from Bruce to Caitlyn has, as
I’m sure you’ve noticed, lit up social media pages everywhere. It’s been
described as everything from “sinful,” to “heroic.” I’ve watched the usuals in
my newsfeed share their predictable opinions, but I’ve also been surprised as
other, less outspoken individuals share their two cents.
Before I explain my opinions on the issue, here are three
things I think we all need to remember in this controversial time.
First, we all need to stop jumping to conclusions, and judging
other people.
I don’t think I could possibly count how many times the
scriptures say “do not judge.” We as humans, have no idea what is going on with
any other person, or what dwells in their heart. The only person, who knows my
heart, is God. I couldn’t even tell you exactly what is in my heart at any
given moment. I am human. I am prone to just as many pig-headed mistakes as
every single one of you. We stumble and make mistakes. We have no right to
judge anyone else.
Second, just because someone else’s opinion is different
than yours, doesn’t make theirs wrong.
While I admit that some opinions are more informed than
others, opinions are not facts. There is no right or wrong opinion. The same is
true for your own opinion. Your opinion is not true or false. It just is. While
I may not agree with what Bruce, or Caitlyn has decided to do with his/her
life, my opinion does not reign supreme. It is my opinion and mine alone.
Third, loving a person does not mean you have to agree with
every choice they make.
There is a quote that floats around that says “Love the
sinner not the sin.” While this can be a hard balance to strike, it is vitally
important to keeping relationships despite controversy. While you may know that
what someone else is doing is wrong, that does not give you the right to love them
any less. In fact, it gives you the right and responsibility to love them more.
I heard a quote this past Sunday, and while it was in reference to my religion,
it is true for a variety of circumstances. “It is not our job to pave the path
for people to the church. It is paved by them and The Lord. It is up to us to
love and support.” Now, I don’t know about you, but the feeling I get from this
is that loving a person is our only job. We are not responsible for their
salvation, or their choices. We are not going to be judged based on someone else’s
actions. We will be judged on our decision to love, or not.
So on to what I think.
I do not agree with Jenner’s decision to undergo a sex
change. I do not believe that changing your body makes you anything different
than what you were designed to be. Surgeries are a cosmetic and superficial way
to change who you are. Movements all around the world shout out mantras like “what
you look like doesn’t define you,” and “beauty isn’t just skin deep.” If these
sayings are true, then why would someone need a sex change to be who they
really are? (This is a legitimate question that I have, and if you have
struggled with a similar issue to Jenner, please feel free to explain this to
me.)
I will continue to explain to friends and family that I
believe sex and gender are one in the same, and they are eternal principles. We
were male and female before we had bodies. While I may not be able to explain
the intricate details of how that worked, it is a belief that I have. I believe in a
perfect, Supreme Being who created us in His image. I believe that because He
is perfect, we came into this world just as we ought to be. We were born into
the families we had identified with before we came to this earth.
I’ve seen the argument out there saying the principle of
eternal identity is void when we think about people who were born as
hermaphrodites. Does that mean God made a mistake? Absolutely not. Do I have
any right to tell someone which “parts” are the right ones? Absolutely not. I
will openly admit that there are issues I cannot answer to. I have no idea what
I would if that were a problem I faced. In all reality, those cases, are
similar to any other birth defect, they are not a mistake but a challenge that
individual will have to deal with. This is different, to me, than Jenner's case anyway. He was not born with both reproductive organs. He changed his body to fit his idea of identity.
We live in an insanely tumultuous time. Opinions are paraded
as fact. The definition of what is “right” has been flipped every which way,
and dressed up as “wrong.” This is not going to change any time soon. Jenner’s
transformation is not the first, nor the last controversial topic to grace our
news feeds. While there will continue to be controversy, I hope that there will
also continue to be love, and acceptance. We are human. We are flawed. We don’t
know everything, and those who profess to know everything are lying.
I know there are unanswered questions, and issues to work
through. I have been known to have just as many (if not more) unanswerable
questions as the next guy. While we cannot possibly begin to know everything,
we can begin to love. We can stop judging, and back biting, and fighting. We
can support the causes we love, instead of bashing what we hate. We can
challenge ourselves to be one step better today than we were yesterday. We can
focus on loving others, and working on ourselves rather than working on others
and loving ourselves.
