Sleep

I have decided that sleep is a necessary element in my life. Going without it for too long, and continuing normal activities is a VERY BAD THING.
The last three days have been a kind of experiment of sorts...one that was not exactly intentional On Monday, I stayed up way too late trying to finish some homework I thought was due the next day. I finished the homework but didn't get much sleep...maybe two hours...which according to my coworker of last semester, doesn't count.  So I made it through my day and thought little of it. I was planning on going to bed pretty early, and then my friend texted me and asked if I wanted to play pool basket ball. So of course, I went. They weren't going to start until like 9 so I had time to work on some homework.
Well I dominated in pool basket ball, even playing with the boys :) but I was super hungry. Well of course the guys were too, so we went to find something to eat. We ended up going to I-hop...well it was about 11:30 at this point but i figured we could eat head back and I would still get some decent sleep in..ha.
We sat there waiting for almost an hour, and then even when we finally got our food, we sat there eating it and talking. heck, we are a social bunch okay?!
So we headed back to the apartment complex but didn't get back until about 1 am. So i sat there and argued with myself...it wasn't too much of one though because I realized that going to bed then would almost guarantee that I would miss work. So, I decided that I would just stay up. so i did. a second allnighter...I must be a college student.
So work was fine and then I began my day. I made it through exactly none of my classes without falling asleep...but I went to every single one. even weight training...where I thought I was going to die. BUT I did it. I also made it home and to my floor...didn't quite make it to the bed before crashing. I fell asleep and slept and slept and slept. I didn't wake up until about 10. Then I went to the bathroom, ate a bowl of cereal, texted some people back, attempted to do some homework and was back in bed before 11. Then, I slept through all of my alarms and missed work. I didn't end up getting up until 8 am this morning.
So that was my experiment:
question- can I successfully stay up for 48 consecutive hours
hypothesis- maybe, I bet if I push myself I could do it
experiment- do it
conclusion: NO. I successfully stayed awake but I was not productive, I didn't get anything accomplished, and I was miserable. Except for the part with my friends. I have decided that an all nighter occasionally is not a bad thing, but two in a row is unacceptable.
(every good experiment leads to new questions right?)
question: did I learn my lesson
hypothesis: probably not
experiment: {check back for results}

Sore

You know the feeling, when You do something incredible and you feel incredible for HOURS and sometimes DAYS after you accomplish whatever said something was?
Yeah, me too.
I LOVE that feeling.
It's what I am feeling today.
I am taking a weight training class. I have never really understood the importance and benefit of weight training until this class. I always heard that lifting can improve your fitness and weight loss goals substantially, but I didn't really buy it. What I did but into were the myths about women and weight training.
The top myth is that weight training will make you bulky and manly.

Now, not very many women want to look like men, so this one turns a lot of people away. The problem is that it is NOT true. We don't have enough natural testosterone in our system to facilitate a huge growth rate in muscle bulk. The women who do bodybuilding are usually on some kind of supplement to help their bulk along
p.s. yes I do find that picture a little disturbing, but fascinating at the same time....

Myth number two:
I didn't necessarily buy into this one, but apparently some women believe that weight training will increase your cup size. Fortunately I have a good mom who taught me early what my girls are made up of...mostly fat. In fact many times when implementing a diet and exercise program, your cup size will decrease....I am not going to post a picture for this one, I am sure you can all do the imagining yourself....

Myth number three:
Lifting will decrease your flexibility. If you are anything like me, you take pride in your flexible legs and arms. I didn't want to lose this, especially because it is incredibly important as a runner to have flexible joints and muscles. Since I have started lifting, I have become more flexible and stretching feels even better.

Myth number four:
This one isn't necessarily one to stop me from lifting, but women often believe that weight training turns fat into muscle. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE. Fat and muscle are made up of different compounds and they do not flip flop (apparently it is also believed that if you stop training your muscle turns to fat)...

Fat is created for different purposes than muscle. I am not an expert in anatomy, but I do know that muscle is gained with work, and fat is lost. Muscle is lost through inactivity, and fat can be gained...this has to do with the way each tissue interacts with calories...fat stores them and muscle burns them. 

So anyway, I hadn't meant to go off on a tangent, but I did want to explain that weight training does more good than harm to the human body. My body is incredible and everyday I am amazed at this creation God blessed me with.

 Today for example, I was getting ready for the strength test we are having in class tomorrow. I hadn't seen much improvement in my strength until today. I ended up bench pressing 30 more pounds than i thought possible, and flying through the other tests. My body amazes me at it's strength. It is such a blessing to have a body that is healthy and works for me. I have made a promise to continue to treat my body with the respect that I would give to someone else's. I will encourage it and feed it with good things.

So back to my original thought: SORE
My muscles are feeling strong because of how sore they are. I have pushed myself hard this week and I feel the rewards. I have been able to do exercises that I have always had troubles with. Crunches are becoming easier and I have needed to improvise with either more weight or diverse movements to get the work I need...that has NEVER happened for me. Also, I am that girl in my class that just keeps wanting one more exercise. This has been an accomplishment just because I have NEVER been that girl.

Usually I am the first to give up, but since I've seen what my body can do, i don't allow myself to give myself excuses. Of course, I am not all the way to my goals, but everyday I get a little bit closer and that encourages me more than anything.
I still need to lose some inches around my waist and continue to burn the fat cells that are in around and on top of my sweet muscles...as they say, get fit in the gym, lose weight in the kitchen.
I fudged a little yesterday. I went to a friend's house and we ended up eating Taco Bell for dinner...that was a mistake. It gave me a stomachache and made me feel sluggish yesterday...but I think today I drank enough water and ate well enough to start flushing the toxic chemical enhanced food out of my system. The benefit of this is that I ate it, and then suffered the consequences, so now I will know that eating it will make me ill. Knowing that and having experienced it first hand will make it that much easier to say "no" next time.
So there you have it:
I am getting stronger
My addiction to endorphins is getting stronger
I have an incredible {very sore} body
Life is wonderful
H.

My First Sugar Treat

Well, it has been about a month since my last sugary treat. I have been off sugar for this long, hoping that it would aid my weight loss. It did! I am 8 lbs down, and it is still going. See, my plan was to go without sugar for another 2 lbs, but I was really craving something sweet.
So, I decided to make coffee cake in a mug.
It took me less than 5 minutes and it was delicious!!
Here is the link to the recipe I used.
It was INCREDIBLY good and I will most definitely be making this again.
H.

The Feeling

I feel incredible. I just finished a 5.5 mile run. It got hard in the middle, and I almost cut it short, by about a mile. BUT I convinced myself that I was going to feel incredible as soon as it was done, so i needed to keep going. It's a good thing I can trust myself :)
this feeling is unlike any other.
I feel on top of the world, like I can do anything.
of course I am dripping with sweat, and I am pretty sure i reek.
that doesn't matter though. I accomplished something i challenged myself to do and I feel great.
I almost binged last night, almost made some popcorn at like 11:00, but I didn't.
I almost didn't go this morning because I felt lazy. But I went.
I *almost* do a lot of things that won't help me reach my goals, but the important part is that I don't.
I found this picture on Pinterest and it inspired me.

I have never thought about self control as a super power, but it is. controlling yourself is one of the hardest challenges we face. Everyday we are faced with opportunities to indulge in all sorts of activities, foods, and ideas that are not good for us but seem "fun". learning to control our minds and bodies takes a certain kind of strength that no one else can give to us. My super power is self control. I am working on making it stronger, because I am nowhere near perfect, but I get a little bit better, a little bit stronger everyday.
have a most incredible day.
H.

{life}

This post is in reaction to an experience I had at school yesterday. I was sitting in my class and I realized, about an hour in, that I had no idea what people were talking about. I was rather baffled at this because I had done the reading and I thought I had a pretty good handle on the class material. apparently not. I really didn't understand some of the words coming out of people's mouths and this frustrated me because I am a senior in my college career and i should be getting a pretty good grasp on things. Another frustrating moment was when my teacher had us stand up if we had read certain pieces of literature.
i didn't stand up.
I wanted to cry, because I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR for crying out loud. I should be one of the few people who has read a lot of literature. But, alas, I was not.  after class, I did what any mature adult college student would do.
i called my mom.
I called her and vented my concerns I started to cry and I felt silly. of course, the first thing out of my mother's mouth, is "Hannah, you are not stupid"
"I know, i just feel that way."
Then my mom continued to share an interesting experience with me. She talked about the idea that our true education, not necessarily scholastic, doesn't begin until we realize how much we don't know. There is so much in this world that we don't know. Some of the brightest minds have been baffled at many things in this world. I thought about what my mom said, and though it didn't make me feel better at the moment, it has since made it's impact.
I don't know anything! actually I know that I have a Heavenly Father and He loves me, but other than that and the facts that are attached to that, I don't know anything.
My mom also told me that from now on, everything I read will be different. I will learn in a different way and everything will impact me differently.
I had to come to the realization that I know nothing, before I was able to see all that I could know.
I have already seen that I am asking myself more questions, and I am digesting information differently.
So the moral of the story is as the picture above describes: Failure is the best way to learn.
I had to hit rock bottom before I could continue to progress.
Frankly I am a little peeved that i had to learn this lesson this far into my academic career, it would have been helpful to understand this idea say, three years ago, but it's better late than never right? (except in the instance of Abraham and Isaac, that angel needed to be punctual...)
I figure this will help me make the most of the rest of my education here at BYU and then help me create a beautiful life full of learning and progress.
I am thankful for a wonderful mother who is always willing to listen to my rants on the phone, and I am also grateful for a God who teaches me and helps me shape myself into the person He knows I can be. Everyday I get a little bit more enlightenment about how wonderful life is, and I LOVE it.
Life is such an adventure and I cannot wait to see what is next in my book of life.
H.

Clean and Green

Lately I have been trying to clean up my life.
 I have been working on my health, my organization skills, and my spirituality. Cleaning up has brought all sorts of fantastic things. I have felt better, treated others with more respect (because I am starting to respect myself) and taught me all sorts of fun things about life.
Cleaning up my health has brought the most awesome things (physically anyway). I have been running almost everyday, and going to the gym to lift weights four days a week. Monday through Thursday i get to sweat and grunt and groan with some of the most fantastic people! It has been a hard journey, but I am starting to see actual results. I put my swim suit on the other day, and though I am not quite pool ready, I am almost there! I have been really good about not eating past 7 p.m. even though it is really hard sometimes. I have experimented with my food and made serious breakthroughs there too! (Taco Bell doesn't even phase me!) I love feeling strong and powerful and I often wonder how I let myself live before this. I know that some days are harder than others, and really I have yet to find a decent substitute for sugar...I don't think it exists...but I manage without sweets. It is harder with other people around, I don't like sounding like a food snob, but I am doing it! I can feel my body becoming stronger, lighter, and healthier. I know it is helping my attitude. I find myself smiling more often, and I also find that I am more willing to try new things and meet new people. Confidence is one of the best feelings. Knowing that I am worth knowing has helped me make new friends and be a better friend to those I already had.
I have recently experimented with a new smoothie recipe that I am absolutely in love with. It is green but it is a happy green, like spring time :) I start with about 2 cups of spinach...I know I was skeptical at first too....and then I add about a cup of milk and 1/4 a cup of cottage cheese. I blend that until it is smooth. Then, I add a frozen banana and a tablespoon of peanut butter. Then I blend again until it is smooth. Then I drink it and enjoy every last green sip. I can't really taste the spinach, it just tastes like a clean banana and peanut butter smoothie. It is incredible. Sometimes I also add a scoop of whey protein, but with or without it it is still delish!
Cleaning up organizationally has been the harder of the challenges. I have become a HUGE fan of Post-its and lists...I have lists for EVERYTHING. The lists have helped, especially when they are on neon colored note cards! I make at least one list everyday, trying to get everything finished. It has helped a little but I do need to be more diligent. My biggest flaw is that I get distracted and then nothing gets done. BUT everyday I try a little harder and everyday it gets better!
The other aspect of my life that I have been working on is my spirituality. I have been trying to take more time everyday to sit and be calm and to ponder, to read my scriptures, or to pray. This has helped me to bring more balance to my life. I have been able to see what's truly important and prioritize that way. It has brought more peace into my life and I appreciate that. It has also helped me to see myself in a more positive way, thus creating a better lens to see the rest of the world through. Now, I am not perfect, but I am working on being better.
The biggest thing I have learned on this journey of mine, is that life is a daily process. Everyday I have to renew my desire to be better and cleaner. Choosing this everyday makes it more manageable. granted I still have to plan for the future, but I also have to take each day one at a time, one decision at a time.
Sometimes I think I get too caught up in dreaming about the future. When this happens I have to take a step back and remember that I can only don something about the decisions that lie right in front of me. I can only take it one step at a time and worrying about the rest is a waste of energy...one that doesn't burn any calories :)
So that's been my life recently, living it, loving it and trying to make it better everyday!
I know that hard days will come, but if there is anything I have learned while at college, it is that happiness is a choice    and we have to make it everyday.
I will be strong, and I will not give up!
So bring it on world, bring it on.
H.

Attitude of Gratitude

So, a few weeks ago, I heard the challenge to use this fast Sunday as an opportunity to thank Heavenly Father and Christ for everything they have done for me. 

So I did.

This morning I woke up and started my day thanking the Lord that I was alive. The purpose for my fast was to express gratitude. I didn't ask for anything, I wanted to show the Lord how much I appreciate all that He has blessed me with   because I do. 

So, throughout the day, I read my scriptures and took notes in church, and thought about all the ways I had been blessed. 

Of course, because I was doing this, the Lord thought it appropriate to bless me with some insight into his plan for me as well as shed light on His love for me. This just made me even more grateful. 

I love the Lord. He is so good to me, even though I don't always deserve it. He also is waiting to bless me   anxiously waiting, all I have to do is show Him I am in the least bit deserving. He blesses me with so much more than I deserve. 

Fasting today with the intent of thanking Him for everything has been one of the coolest fasting experiences. My eyes were opened to things that I often take for granted. 

I am just so blessed, and I am so appreciative of it. I know that I will never be able to thank him for each thing individually, but my newest goal is to thank Him for new things everyday, to expand my vision. 

I encourage any of you who are religious to thank your maker for the blessings He continuously hands out. They are there, even though sometimes we have to look for them. :)

H.