20 Rules A Woman Should Live By

1. Men are an amazing part of life, but they are in no way the be all and end all of life. 

2. It's okay to admit that you're young, fab and NOT broke. Celebrate your success. 

3. Don't waste time crying over little boys who talk too much. Someday you will find the one and then all that happens in between will just seem like crap.  

4. It's okay to be 22 or even 32 or 42 and not know what you want to be when you grow up. 

5. Many people will try to judge your spending and life style habits, don't let it get to you. It's your life, your money and no one else's business. 

6. If you like being single, it's okay to admit that. Maybe you like being alone. Maybe you like just dating and hooking up. Guys like these things and the world has no problem with it. 

7. In business it's likely that men twice your age with half your brain capacity will be making triple the money that you do. Work hard anyway, never give up, you are the brain and voice of tomorrow. 

8. Your parents already lived a bulk of their life. It's time to start living yours. It is possible to both respect them and be happy. Sometimes they may get mad at your choices, make those choices anyway, they love you and will eventually come around. 

9. It's okay to order extra cheese on your fries and not go to the gym after. 

10. No matter how old you are by number, never forget what it feels like to be young and alive. 

11. People are always going to talk, so just do your thing. You may as well give them something to talk about. 

12. You work hard all week and deserve time to get your party on. 

13. Don't keep company with those who constantly compare themselves to you. Keep company with those who love you for you and enhance your life. 

14. If you can't find your prince, there is nothing wrong with enjoying kissing all the wrong frogs. 

15. Live your life for you: not your parents, not a man, not your friends. It is the only way you will ever truly be happy. 

16. You're never too old to learn something new. 

17. In your life you will wind up with a select few friends who are more like your soul mates. Cherish them, they'll be the ones around when the party is over. 

18. You're going to make mistakes: the wrong career, the wrong major, the wrong boyfriend. Everything happens for a reason- You'll learn something, recover and come back better than ever. 

19. Live each day with no regrets. Don't fret over the past, even the bad parts shape us for the future. 

20. Share this list with other young women you love.

I love this list. I love it so much I have it written out in my journal, and I read it on a regular basis. There is something very impowering about this list, and I'd encourage all young women to apply it. This list helped me take ownership of a lot in my life. I love that it isn't about men or not having men. It's about taking control of your own life and living it the way you need to and want to. 

Growing Up

Let's face it. Being a grownup kind of stinks.
I saw a vine the other day that was entitled "best thing about being a grown-up."
The girl in the video proceeded to explain that eating cookies for breakfast was about the coolest thing.
For the past few months, I've agreed with her.
Then one day it hit me.
I can do whatever I want. I'm an adult. The choice is mine. I'm an educated sort-of grown-up that is capable of making her own decisions.
SO I decided to do that. I've been in the process of making a plan for my life, for quite some time. I've made list after list of possible options for my life.  I've contemplated moving back to Utah, staying in Washington, going back to school to teach, going abroad to teach, serving a mission, and lots of other choices... being homeless even made the list. It's been a slow process, but with the help of a LOT of prayer, and a lot of self examination, along with some sporadic lists and article reading, I think I've finally figured it out.
I debated whether or not I was going to announce this publicly, but I figured that most people who know me or follow me on Facebook or Pinterest would start getting ideas. Plus, I'm so excited about this plan, I can't hardly contain it!
I'm am pleased to announce that I have plans to move out to New York City next spring.
Before anyone starts asking the hard questions. I would like to point out that, no I don't have a job yet, nor do I have a place to live. But, I have a plan.
I am starting to look at jobs, and  I've started looking into apartments.
(I'm looking into publishing and editorial jobs FYI, in case anyone knows about anything or has some networking I can get on)
As for right now, I am working two jobs, and possibly contemplating three, in order to save for this adventure.. This will be the biggest and most expensive thing I have ever done with my life. (My mom told me today that I need to take whatever number I was saving for, and double it....uh oh.)
As this plan has taken shape, and as stressful as it can get, I have seen the hand of the Lord guiding me to this space.
First, as hard as it was to get places to call me back, my search for employment has been rather smoothe, and it was simple to get the two jobs I have now. I've had a great support group cheering me on, and I feel really comfortable with this plan. I'm excited about it, and everytime I make any progress on the plan, I get excited all over again. My attitude has been easy to keep positive, and things just seem to go.
In short, I'm just sitting over here bouncing with excitement as I contemplate the future, and growing up. I'm making big decisions, and trying my best to do the hard things to get there.

Run and tell that.
H.

Twisted

Okay.
I have been cooking a LOT. My pinterest food board has been getting a TON of action as I make my way through various desserts, breads, and meals. I've been trying to expand my cullinary skills, and so I've been experimenting. I've had some successes...like the snickerdoodle brownies...YUM...and some fails...like the chicken and broccoli bacon casserol...this one wasn't a fail, but it could have been better.
ANYWAY.
Today's experiement was soft pretzles. Now, let me preface this with the fact that I have tried to make soft pretzles on quite a few occasions and they usually turn out dry, or have too many air bubbles, or they are too chewy, or just not as good as those yummy ones at the mall.
So, I was a little wary about today's recipe, but I found it on a credible looking blog from Pinterest, so it otta work, right?
Exactly. I could not have been more right about this recipe. The pretzles were FANTASTIC. I'm talking crunchy on the outside, but chewy and soft on the inside. AND they actually taste like pretzled. They were fluffy and perfect.
See, but no perfect preztel can be eaten alone. I needed some cheese, right? (BTW in my book, just about anything can be made better by dipping it in cheese, chocolate, bbq sauce, or butter)
Then, as if I wasn't consuming enough calories as it was, I decided to modify my "Man Stealing Sauce" and make a cheddar edition. this sauce is creamy, cheesy, delicious heaven in a spoon. I made it up at school, and I've stuck with it since. It's the best sauces ever, and this cheddar edition is no different.
Now, because I am a good person, and I think you should try this recipe, I am going to leave the link

HERE for pretzles.

Carb on fellow foodies.

Political Thoughts from a Cookie Baking Cripple

I don't typically get very political. Okay, let's be honest. I never do. honestly, the topic is intimidating to me, and I don't like the angry feedback that usually comes from discussing such topics. Recently, however, I have felt the need to express some thoughts on my mind, revolving around government and politics in our modern world.
Due to my recent surgery and ankle break, I've been reading a lot. I recently finished a book with a setting of France during their revolution. I really like historical fiction, so the fact that it was set during this time caught my interest. The main character wasn't directly involved in the action of the revolution, but the author did a great job of shaping the action within the larger frame work of The Revolution. As I finished the book, I was struck with some of the very scary similarities between our time and theirs.
The biggest issue I saw in both the book was that the French people turned against each other in the process of turning against their leaders. The French revolution was a blood bath. People were angry and needed somewhere to release their anger. Prisons full of women, children, prostitutes, innocent men, as well as the targeted aristocrats were taken into the street and slaughtered. One of the lines in the book that hit me hard talked about how the "Liberty, Equality, and Fraternity" that lead the revolution were quickly being turned on their heads. The people who were fighting for equality and rights for themselves, lost that vision when dealing with those that had persecuted them.
I agree with the ideas of liberty, equality, and fraternity. I believe that all humans were created equal, and that  if we want a chance at surviving in these times of turmoil and confusion, we ought to pay a little closer attention to our history classes.
The same ideas that were contorted and twisted to fit unacceptable behavior in the times of the French Revolution are being twisted now.
As a kid, my mom used to say that being "fair" did not necessarily mean that each kid was supposed to be treated exactly the same. Privileges, are just that. Not everyone deserves the exact same thing. Equality does not mean the "exact same". For some reason that definition has been contorted to fit modern ideals. Every human should be given basic rights, but there comes a point when privileges and rights are different. In my family setting, age and responsibility are what determine certain privileges. My older sister always got the front seat because she was older. She also got to stay out later than I did. This didn't mean my parents were being unfair or discriminating against me because of my age. When I became the oldest sibling at home, I got to inherit the front seat, and the later curfew. The same kind of thinking applies to my brother. When my brother was the only boy in the house he got his own room. All of us sisters had to share. Was that unfair? Though I may have thought so at the time, it wasn't. My brother got certain privileges because he was a male in a house full of girls. This wasn't discrimination, it was logic.
Men and women have certain rights and privileges that are extended to each based on gender. This isn't discrimination. In my faith we believe that men are to provide for and protect families, while the women are primarily responsible for the nurturing of the children in the home. Again, this isn't discrimination, it's logic. It isn't the logic man, but the logic of God...who I tend to trust more anyway.
So that's my rant about rights.
Going back to the French Revolution. They slaughtered their fellow french men and women in an effort to create a better world with more equality. Sounds a little backwards doesn't it? The problems I see with this is that they forgot that they all came from the same place, and that unity and equality cannot survive in a time or place where there is anger or violence. Today, I see American men and women filled with anger, pointing the fingers elsewhere and forgetting that we are all American. We are all here for a reason. We all came from  a similar place. Our predecessors worked their entire lives to create this country and the living conditions we take for granted on a daily basis. With the recent government shut down I've seen a lot of jokes thrown around about how these adult men couldn't come to an agreement and so they just shut everything off. Or how Obama thought "shutting it off" and then "turning it back on" would help solve all the problems. I laugh at these as much as the next person, but in reality, this shut down isn't the problem. Our debt as a country isn't the problem. The problem is that we as Americans are forgetting what that means. We are forgetting that as Americans we need to stick together and build up the unity. If there is anything that a childhood of summer camps taught me, it's that nothing can be done without unity. It was true for the French during their revolution, and it still holds true for us.
I understand that Unity is such a vague term, in all it's rosy connotations. It's not easy.
One more thought on unity: My mom left me here to bake cookies, and of course while I was writing this post, I was eating cookie dough. I noticed at the bottom of the bowl that there was a little bit of butter that the mixer had failed to mix it. I then started thinking about how unity is like cookie dough. With the exception of the chocolate chips, none of the ingredients are fit to eat by themselves. I would never eat four sticks of just butter or four cups of plain flour. I would however eat an entire bowl of cookie dough. Unity is kind of like that. If all of the ingredients in these divine cookies sat around pointing out how awful the other was, I would never get to enjoy the sweet rewards that come from them being unified...okay so that was super cheesy but something to think about...
I'm done now.
Carry on citizen.
Oh and here are some cookies to make you drool.

Broken Bones

The morning started out like any other. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed, made myself some Peppermint tea, and talked with my sister about the day's activities. I was to be at work for a few hours and then I would walk home, as I usually did, and then spend the day watching the puppies and catching up on some reading I had been wanting to do.
I walked to the truck, tea in hand and right as I was headed down the driveway to get in, I slipped and fell, heard a crack, and then began writhing in pain, tears immediately springing to my eyes. I'm pretty sure this was the most excruciating pain I'd ever experienced. My sister acted fast took my shoe off, grabbed some frozen corn and instructed me to stay calm and call mom. I called my work, to let them know what happened, well what I thought happened, and then called mom and began the quest for the insurance numbers. We found a place in town that would accept my insurance, but it didn't open until 8...it was only about 7:25. We sat in the driveway and in between bursts of sobs, we laughed about what the neighbors would think of us. I was sitting with my legs all crossed up, butt in the air, and she was sitting next to me on the phone.
My sister, the wonderfully smart person she is thought of a plan to go an get doughnuts while waiting for the doctor's office to open, and then sit in the parking lot and wait.
She helped me get to my feet...or foot...and then into the truck. I knew something was terribly wrong when I couldn't move my toes without shots of pain hitting each little pig. I eventually got into the back seat and my sister set the corn around my ankle. At this point it wasn't super swollen, but i could feel it getting tighter.
We went to the grocery store and got the doughnuts, well she did while I sat in the car and cried. I also called the missionaries to come and give me a blessing later today.
At this point I was still thinking it could have been a sprain, but my hope was wearing thin.
We got to the doctor's office right as they opened and my sister found a wheelchair to get me around in. I waited a few minutes in the lobby, and then went back in. As soon as we were in a room the nurse took one look at my foot and asked why we hadn't gone straight to the hospital.
DUH.
I hadn't even thought of going to the ER, except when I had wanted an ambulance with hot paramedics to come pick me up off of my driveway. She then wheeled me back out while my sister grabbed the car, and off to the ER we went.
Between fits of tears I thanked my sister and apologized about a million times. Luckily she was feeling forgiving and just told me to calm down and eat my doughnut.
When we got to the hospital, I was taken back to an exam room and put on a gurney. several nurses came in and out asking me what happened, and apologizing that my Monday had started out like this. I finally made it X-rays, which was an adventure in and of it's self. The nurse felt so bad she didn't make me move, and just brought the machine to my gurney. She was a saint. they took shots from a few different angles and then wheeled me back to my room. I finally got some heavy pain meds and a cool bracelet.
When the doctor came back in he brought a copy of my X-ray and showed me where my "Lateral Malleolus" was fractured.
I started to cry again when he showed me, not because of pain, but because the Loritab was probably making me coo-coo and I was stressed. He referred me to an orthopedic doctor, and told me I would be on crutches and in a boot for a good month. The doctor next week is supposed to tell me if I'll be needing surgery to put a plate in for healing.
The nice nurses came in again with a prescription and a boot. One of them helped me into it while the other measured me for crutches. After tracking down the last pair of crutches in the entire hospital, I was given a little goody bag of information and sent on my way.
My sister and I stopped to get my prescription filled, and here I am, laying in bed with my foot elevated.
I don't get to go to work for a good week, and I have to stay off my feet as much as possible.
I would appreciate it if you all would pray, or send out positive vibes, whatever suits you, so that I don't have to have surgery. It would be a lot of time and money that I can't afford to spend on something like this.
Thanks for your prayers and well wishes. I'll be back up and going in no time, I'm sure:)

Here are some pictures...

Have a happy day.

Best Friends Forever

Best friends. Well, I have a few of those. But, it is one of my very best friend's birthday today. We've been friends for almost twenty years now....pretty much my enitre life.
When I think about how long I've known her, I realize that she's moved past the best friend stage and entered the sister phase. We've been friends for so long now, and gone through so much that I couldn't imagine my life without her. We've never gotten in a fight, and sometimes I'm amazed that both of our stubborn personalities haven't butt heads at all.
We have so many memories, but I would like to share a few of them here.

1. One of my first memories of Megan, was when we would have play dates at eachother's house. Play dates at her house were always the best becuase her mom had white bread and let us play computer games. (I know we're hard to please.) First we would play dress-up and sing and dance to Phantom of The Opera. I ALWAYS got to wear the blue dress, because I was taller and it was the only one that fit me, and of course I would argue that I got to be Christine, because Megan OBVIOUSLY had to play the part of Meg. I mean c'mon, the names matched! So we would twirl around and sing at the top of our lungs. I'm sure it was a lovely sound. (Sorry Dona!) Then, we would have a snack or something. Probably play outside on the trailer that we weren't supposed to play on, whilst eating divine otter pops. But then, the real fun would start. We would play Candy Land the computer game. It was always at the end of our playdates and we NEVER finished a game. My mom ALWAYS showed up right as we were about to get to Candy Castle. I'm not sure why we never planned ahead and tried playing it first, but alas, the game is still unfinished. I'm pretty sure we tried playing it later, when we were much older, but the computer we had was too new for the disk. Oh well, it's a memory.

2. HIM
Megan knows EXACTLY what this is, but I will share it with the rest of you. At some point in our early lives, Megan's family moved into our school district and actually got to come to my school. She was a grade younger than I was, but that didn't matter, we got those blessed 15 minutes for lunch-time recess where we got to frolick in the grass and play imaginative games.
That is exactly what we were...imaginative...or psychotic, but either way, we found ways to entertain ourselves. We had one game in particular we liked to play. The short story was that Megan, Natasha (Our third amigo) sometimes Brenna (the neighbor girl...hi if you're reading this!) and Julia, the other friend from school pretended that we were secret agents, on a mission to save the world from HIM. We had a boss who lived on Mars, and a red telephone (a complete figment of our imaginations) that would ring and blink as soon as we were needed. We would inevitabley freeze in our bodies on the playground (in the far back right corner of the field by the trees) and our....essence?...would rush up to Mars and meet THE BOSS for a meeting on how we would yet again save the world from HIM.
I'm pretty sure HIM looked strangely like Lord Voldemort, and had a wife or girlfriend named HER. (yeah, we were real creative.) I know that HIM and HER's names showed up a few times in the woods by my house and on Megan's back fence, but I'm sure that was just a coincidence ;)
We took our missions seriously however, and I haven't heard from HIM in quite sometime.

3. Garrett and Cyndi's house.
Megan and Natasha (Who no memory is complete without) would often find themselves at my house on the weekends I spent on visitation with my dad. More often than not our sleepovers would include a Walk to the Store...unless I was feeling lazy and then I would come up with some reason why we shouldn't go and work harder to convice Megan that we should stay at home, than it would have been to just go to the freaking store....Sorry Meggie.
"The Store" was a litte convenience store about a mile from my house that held a plethora of wonderful candies and goodies. I remember our best find was caffeine gum. We decided we had to have it for our sleepovers, as we rarely slept at these functions anyway.
My favorite trip to the store was the time we dressed up as "gothics". We dressed in all black and put on tones of make-up and lots of tasteful jewelery from Claire's (another one of our favorite places). We walked to the store feeling on top of the world decked out in our chains and safety pins...don't ask. I'm pretty sure we had planned to go in all white like little angels to test if there was a difference in service, but I'm sure that was pushed off because of my lazier habits, or because of our fear of running into the woman in the white car. I still get freaked when white cars pass me on the road.
Another favorite memory from one of our various sleepovers was the Crack Salsa and Mona Lisa Smile...oh and the Jello Jolly Ranchers, and of course don't forget the time I almost choked to death on lemonade concentrate that we did shots with. (You know the gothic rebels we were)
Needless to say, sleepovers were never boring events.

4. 10 Ways to Kill Megan and What Not To Do On a First Date feature films, starring Megan Connor, Tasha Liden, and Yours Truely.

There was a phase of our lives that we were really into making our own movies. My favorite, and unfortunately the one that got taped over, was 10 Ways to Kill Megan. Pretty much the three of us brainstormed how to kill Megan and then taped versions of that. It was HILARIOUS. I'm pretty sure Natasha "ate" her, we sang so atrociously while wearing 80s bridesmaid dresses that she keeled over dead, we pushed her off the balcony, and I think we ran her over too...moral of the story? We had issues. But, the image of Natasha, face covered in BBQ sauce, hands covered in chicken guts, crying out for her best friend, is an image I will never forget.
The Date Movie unfortunately survived, and here is a link to it. I don't have much to explain about this one, I'll let it speak for it's self.

5. Puking Brothers and Men in Black
Megan had the BEST house for sleepovers. When she lived next door to me and Tasha, we would congegrate at her house and gather junk food, or whatever food we could find, rummage through the movies, and then fight over who got the corner seat in the couch. This wasn't just a battle for the movie. If you didn't get the corner seat for the movie, you didn't get it all night. This corner seat was the coveted place in the house. The best spot for movies and the most comfortable for sleeping.
But on to the title of this memory. One night I was sleeping over at Megan's house and her brother got super sick in front of her room. I have a very sensitive gag reflex and so I couldn't bring myself to sleep in the room where the puking had taken place, so Megan and I slept in the living room on the couch and fell asleep to Men in Black. It was a surreal experience and I'm pretty sure I kicked her a few times thinking she was an alien.

6. Honky-Tonk-Badonk-A-Donk.
One day I showed up and Megans house and she and Tasha had prepared a dance routine for me. Unfortunately I didn't have the resources to tape it, otherwise you would be laughing as I hard as I am, while I remember that blessed dance. just imagine Daisy Duke shorts and cowgirl hats completed the hip-shakin-booty-poppin routine, while I sat on the floor and laughed until my sides hurt. Those two always know how to light up my life.

7. BRATZ or Barbie games.
Megan and I played with Barbies or Bratz until an embarassingly late age. Tasha never joined us for this, but Megan and I had our games down pat. We had families and high school students. We had a specific way we played and no one else understood. For the sake of saving face, I'll leave the memory at that. But I'll just say, it was good, and we could have aspired to be screenwriters. We done good.

8. The Camping Trip.
I almost forgot about this gem. One summer Garrett and Cyndi decided to go camping, and they told me that I could bring a friend. Of course my first choice would have been to bring Megan AND Tasha, but for some reason only Megan came. We spent a weekend in the woods drinking Vanilla Diet Coke (We felt so cool) and eating our body weight in green grapes. We swam, and I'm pretty sure the parental units forced us to go Kyaking...something I detest. The worst part? I didn't get to share a kayak with Megan. That was a great trip and it was fun to spend some time with the bestie out in the wild mountain air. I'm pretty sure she got car-sick on the way home, but alas it was a memory nonetheless.

There were other camping trips in our history as well. First, Megan's Family and My family went camping together one summer, and it was a blast. We had a camp spot right on the water, and would swim until dark and then we would raist marshmellows and sings songs....okay I don't actually remember much about the trip, other than the fact that we pretended to be mermaids and probably looked like idiots thrashing the lower half of our badies in the water in an effort to mimic Ariel. Sometimes I wonder about our mental state of mind....

Also, Tasha's family took us to Cushman a few times. We went cliff jumping and ate lots of junk food while we talked about how we'd be friends forever, and tried to avoid sibling watch duty. 

9. EFY
Megan and I went to EFY together one year. It was after she had moved to Japan and I was so excited to have her with me. I remember that she bought me an "I love Mormon Boys" T-shirt, and we were roommates. It was so fun to have my best friend there with me.I'm pretty sure we intimidated the other members of our company, but we had fun doing it. Megan patiently sat through all of my boy-talk, as I worked my way through crushing on all of the boys in the company, and was ready and willing for anything. I remember that trip was the first time I'd heard her bear her testimony and that experience is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. It was so touching for so many reasons.

10. Secret Boyfriends
Yeah. I had a secret Boyfriend in Junior High and Megan knew  all about him. He was a gem. She used to walk to the park to sit and watch him play basket ball with me, because I wasn't old enough to actually have him over. Oh and by the way he was secret as in, not known to my parents...not like secret as in he had no idea. I promise it was a mutual agreement....but I'm pretty sure we both had a few of the imagined boyfriends too. Just the fact that Megan was willing to go with me to see him and helped me hide it from my parents was the best thing a best friend could do.


Pretty much, Megan is my oldest and best friend. She's seen me at my very worst, and I've been blessed enough to have her in my life through the good times too. Natasha is a natural fit for our little threesome, and it was hard to think of memories without her. We've all been best friends for so long and it has been the best relationship ever. I mean come on people, we have photoshoots together. We joke about how we are the only people we love enough to keep a long distance relationship alive, but it's entirely true. Even though we are so far apart, whenever we get together it's like nothing has changed and we go right back to being the silly, and sometimes psychotic girls that we are. I look forward to another 20 years with her in my life, and I can only imagine the shenanigans we'll get into as life brings us new adventures.

Happy Birthday Pretty Girl. I LOVE YOU!!

p.s. I still have our Friendship Necklaces... :)

Late Night Rambling

Today I received a package. This package was from one of my very best friends. She sent me a box full of love to get me through these next few weeks, as well as celebrate my graduation. In this package there was a letter. This letter made me laugh as she talked about all the crazy shenanigans we’d been a part of growing up. Because of this letter, and I’m not sure if it’s weird or not, but I Facebook stalked myself. I went through pictures, and looked at posts from friends, and remembered all the good times I've had in my life. As I sit here, trying not to go into the kitchen and grab another popsicle, I realize how incredibly blessed I've been.

I have a family who loves and supports me through everything. I've had friends come in and out of my life, some staying to make a home, and some who've chosen other paths.

The last few months I've been struggling with figuring out what I'm going to do after graduation. I'm still not entirely sure, but I know that wherever I go I will continue to have a wonderful support group of parents, friends, and family.

Sometimes I get frustrated at life, and all it decides to throw at me, but today I realized that even though school can be hard, unemployment may happen, and sadness is real, I have been given something that is so much more important.

So, thank you. I know that if you are reading this, you've probably been an important part of my life at one point or another.

Anyway, as for life, I'm still not sure what is going to happen. I am searching for a job, hoping to find something close to family, and something that will help me get to my dreams of traveling and teaching English.  

As for the last two years...they have been the most incredible two years of my entire life. I'm pretty sure I've experienced every level of emotion on the human spectrum, sometimes all at once...yeah, it's been weird.

I have met so many people who've taught me so much.

I was sitting here yesterday with a good friend, and we reminisced about the time we'd spent together. We talked about memories I'd forgotten, and people who I'd moved past. It was a surreal experience, as I don't normally go through life thinking "Well this is one time I'll forget in a few months, and people I'll never talk to again." But, as I thought about my time here at BYU, I realized that this stage of life, is all about experimenting, and learning, in and out of school. Change is inevitable, and though it can be painful, it is always a good experience in the end. Without change, life would be so incredibly boring. I'm trying to come to terms with that and get to the point where when something negative happens I can just yell "Plot Twist!!" and move on.

Well I should probably drag myself into bed, as I have a draft of a paper due tomorrow and I’m not finished. Woops.

Thanks for visiting.

Making Life Choices: Suggestions Welcome

I am not usually the kind of person to dwell on the negative, but today is going to be the exception. I'm not really sure if it really is negative, or just scary.

As I was working through my day, I realized that I graduate in a mere 62 days. 

62 days people. 

Normally this is an exciting thought. Normally I can barely contain my enthusiasm. 

But not today. 

Today it was scary. 

Today I realized that though I am headed for graduation and should be working on final projects right now, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing after that day. On August 16th, 2013 I will be a college graduate without a plan. 

When this actually hit me, and let me tell you it hit me hard. The first thing I did? Called my  mom. I seriously love my mom. She is absolutely wonderful and has most (if not all) the answers. 

I called her and told her what I was stressing about....the tears welling up in my eyes. This is about how the conversation went:

Me: Mom, I don't know what I'm doing *sniffle*

Mom: About what?

Me: everything.

Mom: What do you mean

Me: I don't even know! I just don't know. *sniffles*more tears*

Mom: Can you give me an example?

Me: That's it, I can't even do that. i just don't know what my life is doing

Mom: school.  

Me: Well I know that! But what about after?! I have not prospects. No job. No boyfriend. No nothing!

Mom: Focus on getting to graduation. You can't do anything until then. 

Me: I know. But I don't have a plan. *more tears*

The conversation continued and my mom just kept reassuring me that everything would work out, even if I couldn't see how. She kept saying that the Lord has my best interest even if I don't know what that is. She kept telling me that sometimes in life we don't have a plan, and life gets boring. Sometimes it gets so scary because the next step is still unknown. 

That's where I'm sitting. 

I'm sitting in a cart on a roller coaster, and I have no idea what the bottom of the next drop looks like. The kid behind me just blindfolded me and so now every turn is a mystery. I feel jolted and like every time I get a 'no' answer on an opportunity, I'm being flipped upside down. 

I have been trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life for a good chunk of time now, and nothing seems to fit. I've thought a lot about full time nanny jobs, and even gotten interviews for a few, but every time i go to look at the details, I get that all too familiar gut wrenching pit in the bottom of my stomach. 

My mom had me list out all of the options available to me. That seemed to help, because it told me all the things I don't want to be doing with my life. 

I think the thing that is frustrating me, and causing all of these tears, is that in six weeks I have no idea where I will be. 

I am the kind of person that always has a plan. A majority of the time I spend more time planning an activity or life change than it would take to get it finished. School has acted as a structure for my life for the past twenty years or so. Now what? It's just me and I don't like it. 

I've always known what was next. 

I feel like this is a test of sorts, to see how I'll handle the freedom. What will I choose. Unfortunately (to quote my dearest friend Shelby) Heavenly Father thinks He's funny. 

What a guy. 

Lucky for me, I have a mom who taught me where to find the answers. I know that if I hang on to that one source of truth, I will be able to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my time. 

I know that with a little  faith and a LOT of prayer, I can figure out where I'll be in September. 

Until next time,

A slightly dehydrated, and incredibly nervous
Me. 

I'm Back

Hello world,
I am back. Not that I actually went anywhere, I just got SUPER lazy and quit blogging. But here I am. I am here to write. I am here to vent. I am here to explore.
The reason I felt the need to write was because of a challenge I was offered today.
My dearest friend Shelbly came down from Idaho to see me, and we had a great little lunch/chat session.
We talked about life, and boys, and well pretty much everything. We talked about how ironic life can be and how "Heavenly Father thinks he's funny". (As quoted by Shelby)
By the end of lunch I was feeling much more rejuvinated and energized. I headed back to work and finished out my day.
But what about the challenge?
Here's the thing. Shelby texted me later this evening and asked if I wanted to join her in the Insanity 60 day challenfe. It's 60 days of Insanity DVDs and Fitness tests. Pretty much, awful.
She challenged me to keep her accountable, and vise versa, and the loser has to buy the winner lunch.
Lunch with one of my best friends and a rockin' body?!
Sign me up!
But as I walked home from work tonight I started thinking. I realized that there were deeper reasons for agreeing to this challenge. (Sorry Shelbs)
I decided that I was going to do this challenge for me. I was going to use te prize at the end and the accountability as tools to reach goals that I've wanted for a while.
Here today, I have decided to write down at least ten reasons why I am embarking on this challenge. Then, I am challenging myself to do a weekly blog update with how I am feeling, and five reasons why I should keep going.
First, here is my list of reasons for starting.

1. I am a beautiful person. I want my outsides to match my insides.
2. I am tired of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.
3. I am capable and willing.
4. I want to be better.
5. I was invited to a boat trip and hesitated because of what I look like in a swimsuit
6. I have one pair of pants that fits. Might as well go down a size before buying new ones.
7. I want to prove it to myself.
8. I am only going to be this age for a little longer. I need to live it up! (YOLO)
9. I want to show my gratitude for my body.
10. I want to be strong.

Now. There are my reasons. I know it will be hard. My muscles hurt just sitting here and writing about this challenge. I know there are days that I will not want to do it. There will be days when I will only do it with half the effort I know I could muster. I will be tired. I will be sore. I will be sweaty. But that's okay.
I want to show myself that with hard work comes great rewards.
I need to get my life in order and this challenge is the first step. Thank you Shelby for offering me the challenge and being willing to hold me accountable.
Here is a grand adventure about to begin.

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Be You.

Monica Rambert

Mr. Anderson

English 2

9-11-12               

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Be You

    Have you ever looked in the mirror and wanted to change yourself from the

outside?  Do you look at models and celebrities found in magazines and desire to be like

them? Are you constantly asking others if you’re overweight even when you know you’re

far from it? Teenage girls and adult women, seem to be the victims of these questions.  It

seems like we always have our heads in a magazine or  maybe we just look  online and

see figures of women. These figures always seem “skinny”.  It’s a word that bites at us,

along with  words like thin or petite. For some, the journey of getting “skinny”  seems

impossible, but have you ever thought that just being healthy and eating right could be

so much better?... 

Teenage girls should put an end to the dieting and starving of their bodies. They should come to a realization of how it can affect them now and in the future,that magazines are filled with photo-shop and not photo-natural.

If you find yourself looking in the mirror, having the desire to be like the image you just

saw in a magazine, consider the steps you would take to get there.   How you take care

of your body is a serious thing. Eat the right foods and have the self-motivation to be

yourself.

    In our society it seems that skinny is the new pretty.   I’ve never been on the heavy  side

of the scale- but I know the cons of being skinny, even too skinny.  True, There’s nothing 

wrong with being thin, or even desiring to have a healthier body weight.  I’ve come to find

that being healthy, is a serious matter one which greatly influences your future, as well

as current state of health. Is it possible however to be healthy, and be yourself?...

I was never exactly-big, neither were my birth parents, so I never expected to be.  

I contributed to  the  solving of occasional problems we’d have as a family. I was the one who got to be pushed through the window to unlock doors. I was the one who was pushed through tiny crevices to pick up the little trinkets that would otherwise go up the vacuum hose. The down side was waiting to sit in the  front passenger seat ,and let my two twin siblings, who were larger than me sit there before me. In school I was called unattractive- nicknames, like “The walking stick” and “skin and bones.” For me elementary school seemed far more dramatic than any high-school... but when I entered high school, the doctor’s visits became more serious, my size became an issue, it was far more dramatic...

Everyone has a fear, for some it’s heights, spiders or perhaps that creepy guy on that one movie. For me my fear, was hospitals .I  had heard about the loneliness at night, the horrid food and the continuation of shots throughout the day. I never thought I’d have to face a hospital in my life until the day my dad confronted me about my size. We were at the dinner table, I didn’t eat much, never really did.

My dad sounded irritated and had anger in his voice. He said;  “If you don’t start eating more at home, at the table, then you’re going to have to go to the hospital and they can feed you through tubes.”

I was horrified, started crying, and was confused at what to do next- head to the freezer, head to the pantry or dump about five more spoonfuls of food on my plate?

My dad is about two feet taller than me, larger, and talks in a deep voice that seems  to shake the room.  When he saw the tears roll down my cheeks and my face in 

puzzlement he took compassion on me, telling me that he was just worried about my

current size and only wanted to help, that eating enough and being healthy were two

serious things at my age.

I never really saw myself as being “petite” I thought I was average, and the same

size as the girls whom I associated with- mainly at church because I was homeschooled

at the time-  I thought this until my mom made comments like this : “I poked my head in t

the door and saw you in Sunday school, and compared to those other girls you sure are

tiny!”

I tried to persuade my mom, pointing out the girls I knew had to be smaller than me, my younger brother answered the question for her by saying; “No Monica, you’re the

smallest in that whole class.”

“Well, great!” was what I said in response, I started

panicking-  surely  Dad thought the same thing, I had eaten more, and healthily too, but it

didn’t seem good enough to make the scale go up, I’d work out and it would go down,

sometimes I’d put weights in my shoes just to say I made some effort. I just couldn’t go to

the hospital. I didn’t want to be “Monica-the- cripple- at fourteen, I wanted to be  Monica-

just- won-a-marathon! “ 

I did some research on why It was important for me to eat so much food and not the good food like Cocoa Puffs and ice cream- the granny stuff like oatmeal and 1% milk, bran or raisins. I discovered that eating enough and healthily prevented things like anorexia, a nasty disease where the Nickname “skin and bones” could easily be applied. I discovered that sugar- although delicious beyond measure, is quite bad for you, and that it also creates dandruff, I discovered that it was carbs, and the contributing hand of sugar that created bad fat, that fat itself was actually good for you. 

So I applied my new found knowledge and started eating healthy things although some were gross, like Vitamin D milk, which tastes like whipped cream, or asparagus, which tastes to me, like the smell of weeds.

Some things were good, like carrots or broccoli, potatoes or grapes. My visit to the doctor consisted of the same old check-up but then a speech about how I was on the low average of both height and weight.

I felt like a loser that day- obviously she didn’t know about all the hard work I had put into my eating habits.

Weeks went by, the scale didn’t seem to go up much, the girls at church told of their dieting and how their greatest desire was to be 115 pounds, I couldn’t contribute to the conversation- seeing as I was far less than that weight, when I went to the homes of my friends they had pictures of celebrities and models, they told me of how they wanted to be like them.  I watched the news and how teenage girls of the world were portraying the same message. 

The message I have is that being you is most important, we already have a Taylor

Swift, and an Angelina Jolie, we don’t need to have two. Being you, eating enough and eating healthy along with being happy is what everyone needs.Starving yourself isn’t the way to a happy,skinny and healthy life it leads to a destruction of your body, I know because I was almost there myself.

So be happy, be healthy, be you.