This book changed my life.
In the 4-5 hours it took me to purchase, read, and soak in all the wisdom that is in this book, my life changed.
To be frank, I did not want to buy this book. I've always been a little wary of things that seem like Pinterest fads, or are just that, a fad. It usually takes me a while but I inevitably jump on the bandwagon, and yesterday was no exception.
I was writing a post about minimalism, (which I have now scrapped) and how I want to reduce the anxiety in my life by cutting out all the stuff. I was quoting things I'd seen on Pinterest, and in other anti-clutter books I've read, and even tried quoting this book I'd never read. I decided I should be true to my work and actually figure out the source before using excerpts from it, so I moseyed on over to Amazon, and purchased the kindle edition for a whopping $9.99.
I rode the bus home yesterday, and couldn't put the book down. Right from the beginning I was sucked in. Marie begins by telling you that being slobbish, isn't your fault. (great start btw for people like me who are convinced being a slob is part of our DNA.)
"The general assumption, in Japan at least, is that tidying doesn't need to be taught but rather is picked up naturally.....Think back to your own childhood. I'm sure most of us have been scolded for not tidying up our rooms, but how many of our parents consciously taught us how to tidy?....When it comes to tidying, we are all self-taught."
My parents definitely did their best to teach cleaning techniques and what a clean room should look like. Don't get me wrong. I know how to clean a bathroom, and can probably do it better than some, but I don't keep things tidy. My clothes are always strewn about, and I have a hard time talking myself into doing dishes after dinner. Or at least, I did.
After reading this book I feel different.
Last night I began my magic tidying process, with what I knew would be the hardest.
My books.
(I should confess, I did things out of order, because you are supposed to start with clothes, but I wanted to do that part with Kman, so I jumped a category.)
The first step to tidying up is gathering everything in that category. So off I went to gather all the books in our entire apartment, and pile them in stacks on the floor. Then, I sat among all of them, picked up each book and asked aloud "Does this bring me joy."
I was surprised to find, most of the books were easy answers. There were some that had answers like, "you could give me joy, but I didn't read you, so no." and there were others that were more like "you were a great read, but you didn't bring me joy."
By the end of this process, I had a stack of 12 books in the keep pile, and at least 80 in the donate pile.
I started to cry, as I thought about all the books leaving, and watched as what I thought was my dream of having my own library, slip through my fingers.
How could it be that something I've defined myself by for so long doesn't actually bring me joy? I've bragged, multiple times, about how I have more boxes of books than I do of clothes. Books are my thing.
I realized last night that having a huge bookshelf full books won't always bring you joy, no matter how much you love reading. Many of the books in the donate pile were books that I was gifted, or picked up intending to read, but never did. Some were classics that I felt pressure to read, but never held my interest.
All the books in the keep pile were books I've read multiple times. I have two Shakespeare plays, a trilogy I've read every summer since 8th grade, Matilda (because it's my favorite story ever,) and a few writing books I use regularly. The pages are worn in, and the spines cracked. I have specific memories tied up in these books, and hope that one day I can share them with my children. They bring me joy, because I can return to them more than once and be filled with as much pleasure as the first time I read them.
As I stared down at the large pile of books to be donated a simple phrase floated through my mind.
"Give yourself permission to let go."
There is freedom in letting go, and finding new ways to define your life.
One of the things Kondo talks about, in reference to graduates of her program, is that they finally have room to breathe and figure out what they actually want in life. Some lost weight they'd been holding on to, other's had a career change. By letting go, and cleaning out their homes, they were able to clear their minds and bodies. Kondo credits this to the fact you don't have so much distracting you anymore.
For me, letting go of my books, is giving myself permission to change. While I will continue to have a love for reading, I don't have to be defined by the books sitting on my shelf. In a more practical application, I won't have to worry, or stress about packing up all my books and moving them across the country. I can take a bag of my favorites, and begin my life with a freshness, and sense of joy. It's liberation at it's best.
I'm adopting the question "Does this bring me joy," into all aspects of my life; I can clear out more than just my closets. There is no reason to hold on to people, places, things, emotions or ideas that no longer bring you joy. You don't have time for that. This life is precious and short, fill it with things that bring you joy and just let go of all the rest.
-H.
