I gave myself 2 months to plan this wedding, and it's just enough time.
I mean sure, if I was the type of girl who wanted every last detail planned, I would need more time, but I've never wanted a fairy tale wedding. I've never wanted the stereotypical puffy fluff that people imagine with weddings. I've cut out a number of "traditional" wedding items, and I am 100% okay with it. When I began planning I felt I should limit the number of details I have, so that I can focus on making the ones I do choose as lovely as possible.
My two criteria for the perfect wedding have always been 1. no cultural hall receptions, and 2. good food.
The first criteria, nixing the church gym reception, automatically added to the overall cost. The one thing church gym weddings have going for them is their price tag. It's been hard to narrow down a place that will keep me withing budget, but we're working on it. The second was easy: cater it myself. Or rather, help my mom cater it.
Wedding caterers are either too expensive to even consider paying for myself, or sub-par quality. I've never been a fan of catered food, because I feel like it all begins to taste the same. I've planned a personal menu that will be both delicious and frugal.
I've saved myself quite a few dollars, and many a headache for following outline below.
1. Decide what you absolutely can't live with out.
For me it was a venue and great food. For you it might be the dream dress, and a great photographer. Or maybe it's a gourmet cake. I don't know your life. What I do know is that you absolutely have to prioritize. You have to pick the few things you've always imagined on your big day, and hold on to those few things. Make those the things you will not settle for.
Unless you've been saving for this day your entire life, or you have a family who is willing to foot the bill, chances are you have real life costs that will only double when you have a new spouse and inhibit you from using all your money on this one day.
2. Cut the fat.
After you have those few things picked out, figure out what can go. For me, it was a huge ceremony, traditional flowers, cake, and a dj/band.
I don't really care about any of those things, and to be honest the only hard one, was limiting the ceremony. While I would love to share this special day with everyone I've ever met, I can't. I am choosing to focus my time and my funds on other things. I'm still planning an open house/reception for friends and family, but trust me when I say it ain't gonna be fancy. I'll resuse the decorations from the wedding luncheon, and tap into my resource of talented friends and family to pull it all together.
3. Use your resources
I have quite a few really talented friends and family. I'm designing my own invitations, my mom is helping with all aspects, my step-mom and best friend are fantastic photographers, and I have a future mom in law who makes great pie (no cake, remember?) I will admit I'm lucky, and maybe you don't have these exact talents at your disposal, but if you ask around, most people are happy to lend a hand. Another resource I have is a fiance who knows how to make a decision. He has ideas too, and when I ask him about certain details, I can always count on an honest answer. As someone who suffers from being far too indecisive, he is one of my greatest assets.
4. Shop-around
I can't stress how important this one is. Most of the time anything tied to a wedding will be 20% more expensive than if you were to buy it for another purpose. This is one of the reasons I'm cutting out traditional flowers. I've been shopping for decorations, and I've found that the stores that have actual wedding sections mark up the prices, when compared to other stores. Just this week I went to find jars for candles, and while one store had some in the wedding section, I went to a different store and found almost identical jars for 2 dollars cheaper. Now, I get it, 2 dollars isn't that much, but it adds up. Buy in bulk if you can, and look at every store you can think of before settling on a price.
Also, on the topic of venues: I've looked at probably 25 different places to hold a reception. It hasn't been easy, but I think I've finally (fingers crossed) found a place for less than $200 that will be the perfect size for my needs.
5. Be flexible
I would say I've been a relatively easy bride-to-be. I've let go of certain ideas, and gone for others when it was either cheaper or less work. I've been stubborn about my two priorities, but everything else has been relatively easy to let go of or change up. Being flexible might even help you open up to better ideas. K-man had a great idea about the guestbook, and it will work great for our theme, as well as be something we can take into our marriage.
In short, the painless wedding planning boils down to making the day about you as a couple, and not the napkin rings, or place holders. Figure out what's important and just let go of the rest.
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