To My Muse

I was told to not write about you.
But not writing about you feels wrong.
I want to write all about you. I want to write about your smile, the way it catches me off guard. The way I swoon a little when I catch you staring at me and then you laugh.
I always ask you what you're thinking about, and you always say nothing. I know that can't be true though. I know that because it's not true for me. When I stare at you my mind is running a thousand miles a minute.
I think about our future. I think about the way you tickle me because you know that as much as I resist you, I secretly love it. I think about the way you have little secrets, and how I also love that because it means there is so much more to know about you.
I was told not to write about you because then you'd be eternal. You would forever be embossed on the world, through my words.
But, is that wrong?
Not writing about you is what feels wrong. I want to tell the world. I want to exploit the awkwardness of our first kiss. I want to rehash our first fight. It was about tea.
I want to write about you because I want to world to know about you too. I want everyone to know about how you take care of me when I'm sick. How you tease me, how you say all the wrong things in just the right way. The way you believe in every endeavor I embark on, no matter how crazy it seems.
I'm supposed to write about what I know. You are what I know.
I know your laugh. I know the patterns of your breath when you're upset. I know the flicker of mischief in your eyes just before you jump into some childish scheme.
Encapsulating you in my words is a challenge. It pushes me to find new words to describe what I get to see everyday. It pushes me to describe the person you reveal to only me.
I've taken on this challenge because you've taken me on. I'm a challenge, and you've handled me perfectly. You've held this mess together better than anyone else. The late nights, and early mornings haven't scared you away.
I'm impressed with you. You've changed the way I see myself and the world.
Writing about you comes easily. I never understood "Muses" until you. You inspire me. You inspire me by encouraging and believing in me.
I was told not to write about you, but I'd like to see someone try and stop me. It's an addiction. Releasing words bouncing around in my head gives me a rush. Finding the perfect way to portray some element of your person- within a different character relieves me. It strengthens my desire to know you, to find more inspiration.
So thank you. Thank you for being an irresistible subject. Thank you for being something to write about. Thank you for the thrill of doing something I was told not to. Thank you for the rebellion.