20 Things I'm Starting To Learn in My 20s

1. Getting dressed in the morning is a matter of respecting yourself enough to make the effort.
Yes, sometimes wearing leggings and an oversized sweatshirt all day, is the best you can do. Sometimes, it’s all you feel like. BUT, please don’t get stuck in the rut. Respect your body enough to get dressed. You will feel better, and you will be more motivated to own your day. The possibilities are endless for a women equipped with good jeans and great shoes. However, if she never gets dressed, she won't understand this.

2. Quality is ALWAYS better than quantity.
Friends, clothing, food, it doesn’t matter. It is always better to have one quality piece of something, than ten sub-par versions. I’ve learned this especially with clothing. One pair of really good jeans can work for you in so many more ways than ten pairs of jeggings, or $10 jeans.  The same goes for friends. High school is over, the popularity contest is over (if it really ever began). Don’t waste your time on sub-par friendships. Pick out the most rewarding relationships, and let the others go.

3. Cleanliness is next to Relaxation
Having a clean living environment is the best feeling. Coming home from work is always a relief when I walk in and the dishes aren’t piled a mile high, and the living room isn’t cluttered. It’s easier to debrief from my day in a clean space. That being said…..

4. Don’t sweat the small spills.
I’m a messy person. It’s a work in progress, but I’ve learned to accept that I will never have the cleanest home. K-man has nicknamed me Stain, and I’m secretly okay with that. I rarely make it through the day without spilling something. At first it stressed me out, but I’ve learned to laugh at myself, and accept that my mind works on a more “creative” level.

5. Running really is cheaper than therapy
There are things running can’t fix. There are times that I can’t handle a work-out because I am too stressed. Exercising however, is a good first try. There are only rare occasions that a hard workout doesn’t make me feel better. Gym time is me time. Yes, I take K-man with me, but when I am working out, I am in the zone. I listen to my music, and focus on pushing out the negative energy.

6. Sometimes you can be an introvert and want to go out.
I’m not sure what it is about our modern culture, but there is this obsession about whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. WHO CARES? If you feel like going out, go out. If you feel like slumming it in your PJs with Netflix and your cat, more power to ya. Yes, there are ways to “self-diagnose” your personality, and figure out how you best cope with things. This shouldn't dictate how you like to spend your time. I like to call myself an introverted extrovert, since I like all of it.

7. Love isn’t always a fairy tale.
I got really lucky. K-man came into my life when I least expected, and I’ll be honest, he swept me off my feet. He is the best thing to have ever happened to me. He treats me with respect, and he shows me every day how much he loves me. He also gets into childish moods, and wants nothing more than to push all of my buttons, causing me to loathe and admire him all at once. It’s surprised me how real our life together is. We fell into each other’s lives fairly naturally, and we have progressed enough to know that we want the other around for a long time. Our love is real. I can be a real pain in his butt, and he can be a real pest, but we really love each other. It’s not perfect. It’s actually really messy, and feelings get hurt. BUT even with all the frustration it’s those messy moments when I realize just how much I love him.

8. Where you are now isn’t always where you’ll be.
This might be a “just Hannah” thing, but I get into this mindset where I look at my life and realize where I’m at, and =I get overwhelmed because wherever I am isn’t where I want to be. Well, news flash, THAT’S OK. I’m only 21. In the grand scheme of things, I am still a baby. I’ll get there eventually, and that’s okay.

9. It’s okay to not have it all together all the time.
I feel like I have been frustrated for a large portion of my life because I have been trying to live like someone else, and not like myself. I’ve looked up to my older sister for most of my life. She just gets life. Sure, she has her hard times, but she works through life checking boxes. I’ve learned, that’s not my style. I don’t have my life all together all the time. I get up and go to work, and most of the time, I barely make it out the door without a stain on my shirt. It’s a miracle if I get the dishes done, let alone the floor mopped. Sometimes I make mistakes, and sometimes I procrastinate. Sometimes all my ends don’t meet. It’s a good one, when my manicures don’t chip for an entire day. That’s okay though. I’m content with where I am on this journey we all call life.

10. Plans change
Had you asked me a year ago where I would be, never in a million years would I have said “Living in Vancouver dating the man of my dreams, working at a Methodist church.” I could have not imagined that breaking my ankle would have sent me home to work at Sears. Had you told me that’s how my life would go, I would have thought you were nutzo-freakso. But, that’s where I’m at. I’m not living in New York. I am working as an editor, but in a capacity I never knew existed. I’m a planner, but I’m starting to like it when life doesn’t go according to plan. It’s more exciting that way.

11. Doing nice things for others is the best way to a smile
My mom always told me the best way to frustrate people who are mean to you is to kill them with kindness. I never really got that, because in my mind if you were really trying to be kind to them, killing them would be the last thing on your mind…
Well, I have learned that serving people, and helping them have a better day helps me have a better day. It can be as simple as bringing home your roommates favorite candy, or as big as filling up your boyfriend’s car. Whatever it is, don’t expect anything in return. Just pat yourself on the back for doing such a nice thing.

12. You can do anything but not everything.
This kind of goes back to 8 and 9, but I think it has merit on its own. There are times when I feel like volunteering for everything, and going out to serve everyone. This isn’t possible. I only have the energy and bandwidth for some of it. Be selective with how you spend your time. Give yourself the same attention and love you give everyone else.

13. Some people cannot be helped.
I’m a nice person. Sometimes I’m too nice. Working in retail, and other customer service positions, has taught me that there are people in this world are set on being miserable. They will critique everything you do, and will not let you live it down. Sometimes they take you blunders to higher powers, and it will make your life miserable for a while. Well, I’m gonna say it “Haters gonna hate.” There are going to be people who you cannot please NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
Cry, eat ice cream, whatever it is you do to feel better, do it. Then, take a deep breath, realize that your mistakes don’t define you, and carry on. These people are in your life, and you can learn from them, and move on, or you can continue to let them bully you. Choose to let it go. Their misery isn’t your problem.

14. No one else has to live your life.
You are the only person who has to live with your decisions. Don’t live your life for anyone else, but you. No one else has to go to sleep at night, in your head. Your life is yours. Create what you want. Love who you love. No one on this earth has the right to judge your life. What someone else thinks of you isn’t any of your business. You do you, and let the naysayers nay say.

15. Social media is a distraction
Yes, you can accomplish great things with social media. Messages can be spread. People can connect. BUT, in my opinion (as this is my personal blog) social media is nothing more than a distraction. I know I will never hear the end of this, but social media is a waste of time. Is it an enjoyable waste of time? Sure. Do I use it? You probably got a link to this from social media, so yeah. Is it a necessary part of my life? No.
Sure, I tweet and Instagram as much as the next person (my mother would argue I do it more,) but that doesn’t mean it’s a valuable use of my time. I’ve been striving (and kind of failing) at making it a lesser priority. It’s a work in progress, but what isn’t?

16. I deserve to be here.
Something I’ve struggled with my entire life, is feeling worthy of certain relationships. Many times I find myself sitting in a room justifying my presence to myself. I’m learning to stop this. When I walk into a room, I deserve to be there, just as much as the next person. I deserve quality relationships, and I deserve to be loved for who I am. We are all working for so much in our lives, acceptance shouldn’t be one of them.

17. I have my body and you have yours
My body is 100% unique. I’m the only version of myself. I don’t want to be a second rate version of someone else. I will dress my body and care for myself in the way that I see fit. I will never have perfect hair. My skin will probably always be oily and blemished. But you know what? It’s my body to love, not yours. I have really great legs. I love the color of my eyes. I have dainty hands, and I LOVE THEM. I don’t need your beauty standards.

18. It’s okay to take pride in things
I’ve always been told it was a bad thing to be proud of things. I was always scared of being seen as too proud, and being struck down by a lightning bolt or something…Once I heard my mom say “I’m a really good cook,” and I was SHOCKED that she would say such a boastful thing. She then explained that she wasn’t being boastful, she was being honest. She is a good cook. I don’t know anyone who would argue with that. When I do a good job on something, I’ve learned that it’s okay to say “I did a great job,” and reward myself accordingly. 

19. Fear is never a good reason to do something, or not do something.
I’ve never understood using the fear mentality, when love and acceptance is so much more effective. No one wants to feel like a wrong choice is going to lead to some kind of moral Armageddon. When we make choices based on our fear, we are more proned to doing things we don’t want to, or not doing things we want to. Many times, our fear is misplaced anyway. 

20. It's okay to ask for what you need. 

I'm not the kind of person to ask for help. I never want to put someone else out. I figure that if I can't do it myself, I don't need it done. This isn't true. Ever. We have relationships in our lives, and people all around us to lend a hand and help facilitate the things we need. It may seem silly because no one else has asked, but maybe it's because all the others were too scared. 

So there you have it. Life lessons from yours truly, 

H.