As many of you know, I have been working as an early morning custodian for the past school term. I wake up every morning at 3:30 am and trudge across the parking lot to clean various areas of a building on campus. This week I was assigned to bathrooms. male and female. Today, as I worked through my daily routine, I discovered some things that have inspired this post.
I will first address the Men in this world:
1. Yes, Women do see your side of the bathroom facilities. We get to clean them, please stop scarring us.
2. There is no circumstance under which a LEMON BAR [or any other kind of dessert for that matter] is an acceptable bathroom companion. I think you may have figured this out when someone else walked in, and you realized how very strange it would be to come out of the stall with dessert. Next time, please man up and either eat it before you go in or take the taunting laughter that may ensue after walking out with it. The TP dispenser is no place for such an item.
3. Explosions need to be contained. No, the stall wall does not constitute a suitable container. Even NASA knows this.
4. Romans invented this thing called indoor plumbing...its useful, and most of the world uses it. Pleas join them. The floor is no place to do your business, and my shoes should not stick to the floor.
5. I would like to share with you a simple phrase my mother used to potty train my brothers.
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"
If three year old's can master this concept I'm sure you can too.
6. Why is your mirror always dirtier than the women's...is there a secret life of the American male insight we should know about? I don't understand.
And now, Women:
You would think the women's bathrooms would be much cleaner, but honestly it depends on the day.
1. Women, men clean your bathrooms too. My co-workers would appreciate it if you would keep that in mind.
2. Chairs? Really, as if one seat wasn't enough, there is almost always another chair in the stalls big enough for them. And I thought my guy friends were kidding when referring to woman needing spotters { an attempt to explain them always going in pairs.}
3. The little white boxes inside the stalls are NOT, and I repeat, NOT for Chocolate milk bottles. This goes up there with the Lemon bar instance. WHY?
4. You know those shiny levers above the toilet? It's not there for decoration, though I do admit I keep it in mint condition. USE IT.
5. Paper towels are for drying your hands...not for confetti. Besides, shredding paper is for home and office settings, not bathrooms.
6. The week elementary school kids were using the bathrooms, they had never been cleaner.....does anyone else see the problem here?
I think sometimes both men and women forget that other people see what they left behind. This confuses me because it is called a PUBLIC restroom for a reason. I can say that this job has given me many laughing experiences, as well as many moments of "plug -your-nose-close-your-eyes-cringe-and-do-it!". I understand that sometimes bathrooms are a places to do what would otherwise be considered socially detrimental, but it is still public and people still have to clean it up. So please, next time you are in a public restroom, be mindful of the poor college kid that will probably have to come in the next day in the wee hours of the morning.
Thank you,
A confused, slightly entertained, but mostly disgusted,
Me
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